This upcoming year may be just another year, or it may be one of the most significant years in human history (according to the Mayans and other ancient civilizations).  Regardless of outcome, I have decided the year 2012 is the year of progression.  Progression out of this era ruled by materials, greed, and selfishness.

I was personally guilty of the above.  For me, 2011 began my progression into a more humble spiritual awareness.  I had a very simple goal: Be the best man I can be.  And these guidelines helped me:

• Be honest with yourself and those you care about
• Be proud of who your are and what you do with your life.  If you are not, change your lifestyle or career to achieve this
• Invite love into your life
• Don’t allow fear to dictate your thoughts and emotions
• Have compassion for people and the mistakes they make, including yourself
• Trust yourself and the people you allow into your life
• Strive for perfection, but be humble and realize it is not achievable
• Do not dwell on the past and live with regret, you cannot change it – only learn from it
• Do not dream of the future – only planning and action today can help you achieve the future you want
• BE CLOSE WITH YOUR FAMILY – They are the one true constant throughout your entire life

And as we enter 2012, I strive to continue this path to, what I see as enlightenment.  Just in case 2012 is the end of the world, at least I’ll go out being the best man I can be!

I have had the privilege of being sent this book to review, which you can find at http://www.dirtydialogue.com/ebook.  The title grabbed my attention immediately of course.  But as I began to read the content inside, I began to realize the genius behind the idea.  The introduction kept my eyes glued to the pages.  Why?  Because it states exactly what is wrong with people and their perception of sexuality today:

Everything you’ve ever learned about your sexuality is a
lie.
At least in terms of “right” and “wrong,” that is.
What’s “right” is that we’re all human beings. What’s
“wrong” is that our sexual nature is governed by outdated
social scare tactics, which force us to deny who we are
inside.
Especially women.

The truth is, in every good girl, there’s a naughty part of them that’s just dying to come out.  They may deny it, but behind closed doors with their boyfriend, you know they get naughty.  The missionary position mixed in with a little doggy style can only go so far.  Role playing, dirty talk, etc. can help spice up the sex life of even the most conservative Catholics.  It’s just a matter of them being able to do it without them believing they will go to Hell!

The book targets women, as they are most likely the hardest gender to sell on this topic of “being naughty” (there are exceptions!!).  Here’s a brief outline of what the book talks about:

Part 1 – How to Think About Talking Dirty

Chapter 1: Decoding the “Slut” Complex

This chapter talks about why a classy girl may be afraid to let go of control, what’s getting in her way, and  how she can get over her fear of being judged.  The author touches on topics of mixed morals in pop culture, social slader & scrutinization, the fear of “losing control”, and breaking sexual barriers.

Let’s face it…there’s much truth in all of this.  Back in the 60’s there wasn’t serious threat of STD’s and the birth control pill had just come out.  It was a time of “free love”!!  Perhaps the arrival of the HIV virus combined with a conservative movement that this idea of “free love” was removed from society.  True, some precautions needed to be taken to avoid a viral epidemic with STD’s, but somehow the idea of sexual freedom got smothered.

Chapter 2: A Man’s Point of View

In this chapter, the readers discover what a man wants, how he wants you to talk dirty, and why.  The author starts with a story about himself touching on funny stories of awkward sexual situations he had in high school, and goes into when he “found” himself in his adult years and was able to transform into a sexually attractive man.  He then touches on the Male Ego and the sexual connection between men and women: How do you make that connection?

Chapter 3:  Lust: The Carnal Human Craving

In this chapter, the reader learns the ancient secrets to how sexual energy works, how natural attraction is generated, and what hidden secrets you need to know to activate this primal appetite for having sex with you (and only you).  The author touches on sexual nature: A man doesn’t get off on you; he gets off on what he does to you. So in essence, he’s really getting off to himself, his sense of accomplishment in being “the man.”  He then goes into the “sexual secret” explaining the balance of a sexual relationship in terms of the yin and yang symbol.  A universal symbol explaining the balance between opposites.

Part 2: How to Express Your Sexuality

Chapter 4: Connecting Fantasy to Reality

This chapter talks about what a fantasy is, how a fantasy works, and how to arouse this fantasy from all angles so that you control it completely.  There are 3 sides of your “sexual” mind.  Side 1: Your physical pleasure.  Side 2:  Your emotional desire.  Side 3: Your mental reassurance.  Let’s be honest people, we all have fantasies…but I bet the majority of us don’t express them to our partners in fear of…well…being laughed at.  This book is so right…explore those fantasies and make them realities.  Wigs and costumes are great!

Chapter 5:  Breaking Out of Your Shell

In this chapter, the reader explores how to overcome sexual barriers, and how to give your self permission to unleash the kinky, freaky, nympho Yin within.  First the author touches on what the issues women have with releasing their freak within…mostly identifying the problem as a trust issue.  Then he goes into how to solve those issues.

Part 3: How to Become His Sexual Fantasy

Chapter 6:  How To Talk Dirty

In chapter 6, the reader uncovers what to say when talking dirty, how to say it, how sexual triggers work in the flow of kinky conversation and how to blend it all together to become the fantasy of his life.  Basically, if you are a shy girl and never have even dared to tell your man how you like it, this chapter is for you.  Now you will be able to be in control of his fantasy and take your sexual relationship to places he only dreamed it would be.

Chapter 7:  Exploring His Sexual Side

Now let’s be honest…it’s not only girls that have issues releasing the sexual animal inside them.  We all know (women knowing better than us men) that there are men out there that act more like dogs humping a leg then sexual beasts.  So this chapter explains how to unravel your man’s ‘secret’ desires, what and where to look for clues, and how you are already his ultimate fantasy girl and you don’t even know it.  Here you will learn how to push the right buttons, how to escalate an intimate moment, how to test his boundaries, and learn your sexual “secret weapon”.

Chapter 8:  Staying Dirty for Life

Now that you’ve learned all this great material, this chapter teaches you how to keep the spark alive as long as you want, how to grow the most intimate bond a man and woman can share, and why you have just opened the doors to the most satisfying spiritual connection of your life.  The author touches on how to keep the sex exciting, which we all know becomes a problem in a great majority of relationships out there.  He then ends with lessons in the ultimate connection.  This book is about fornicating with anyone and everyone out there…it’s about building the ultimate connection with your partner in all aspects of the relationship…the author just focuses more on the sex part in this book!

The author also has a live blog where he touches on this subject matter: http://www.dirtydialogue.com/diary. You should check it out!!  Also available are some bonus material:

The Dirty Dictionary:  The Definitive Guide to Dirty Talk Words and Phrases

Dirty Dialing:  Instant Phone Sex Fantasy Guide to Long Distance Lust!

Dirty Delivery: 77 Sexy Text Messages Guaranteed To Blow His Mind!

Recently there’s seems to be a boom on facebook with content posting.  Used to be that people just posted pictures and videos.  But now I’m seeing more and more postings of outside content like what people do on digg.com or reddit.com.

There’s a site I came across today that was posted on facebook.  It’s an iPhone app that basically serves as drunk dialing prevention.  Everybody is guilty.  Let’s face it, we all have had those weak moments at 1am-3am drunk from a night of partying trying to keep the mind off the ex.  You’re about to go home alone and keep staring at your phone.  You keep telling yourself not to, but alas the poor judgement that is blurred by the alcohol consumption allows you to press the call button and you either don’t get an answer and are pissed that he/she will know you drunk dialed…or they do pick up, come over, and the next day after they leave you’re kicking yourself in the butt.  Either way…bad news.

Well now there’s the BDB.  You can download the app to your iTunes through the site and install on your iPhone.  You can then pick any contacts out of your list that you want to block (for those of you that have multiple ex’s to worry about).  This prevents you from calling or texting them.  The next day when you wake up, you can remove them from the block list.  Simple as that (which means when you’re drunk, it’s just an extra step you have to go through – but you hope that will be enough to prevent you from the drunk dial!!).

Check out the site: www.baddecisionmaker.com

Has anybody experienced themselves or watched as someone has gotten dumped because of something seen on social networking sites…primarily Facebook?  I have been watching and experiencing first hand how behavior caught on film or commented on a public forum has stirred up trouble in relationships or friendships. 

Facebook is the biggest culprit with its relationship status that notifies the public world when a person changes it.  Now there are things one can do to help prevent a huge drama bomb from dropping – Not putting a relationship status at all and making your profile/photo albums private.  It helps, but you still have the rest of your friends to worry about.  A friend might think its funny to comment on how you made out with that random person at the bar the other night, or posts a picture of you passed out in bed with an “inappropriate” person.  Still, these are still fires you can easily prevent from happening with a good ole “heart to heart” with a friend before they do anything stupid.

Now here’s where the true “Facebook Stalking” comes into play…  I will use a personal experience to explain.  I happen to have quite a few friends on Facebook.  With Facebook (if you’re not familiar) even with your profile turned to private, your friends can still see everything from your wall posts to your photos with comments on it.  I had a couple friends that would frequently visit me at my apartment so they could “reap”.  Reaping refers to them logging onto my facebook account so they could stalk people that they weren’t friends with who kept their profile private.  They would stalk anyone from ex-girlfriend/boyfriends of people they were currently or used to date to see if they could catch their partners up to any shady activity.  Think that’s crazy?  How about girls creating fake profiles of other girls and friending their boyfriends to try and seduce them through facebook to catch them up to no good?!?!?!  Yes it happens, and I see if more and more everyday.

The fact is, Facebook and the other social networking sites are great for connecting with everday friends and friends of old.  But in exchange, you also open up your private life to be in the spotlight.  It’s not so easy to be shady anymore.

This is a story depicted on a recent article on MSN: “One of my all-time favorite Facebook stories involved a recent college graduate backtracking it to the old Alma Mater (it wasn’t Tucker Max) on a recruiting trip. He went to a neighborhood watering hole, flashed some of that first-year cash and, later, worked on his night moves with a fine, young coed. Unfortunately, he knew she was going to Facebook (it’s a verb now) him and he still had a few days in College Town, USA. So, he did the prudent thing and changed his status to “single.” (He and his old old girl were on the rocks and he thought he’d enjoy the rest of the trip.) This was how now ex-girl found out. She was dumped by Facebook.”

There you have it, a whole slew of examples for you to take and learn from.  I’m sure many of you have some horror stories even worse than some of these…please share the stories so to teach us all a good lesson.  Who knows, perhaps social networking will force people in society to behave a little bit more (who am I kidding!?!)  I’ll leave you with MSN’s Top 10 guides to Social Network Etiquette:

10. Relationship status is a mutual decision. As illustrated above, lots of problems can arise from a unilateral status change. All of your friends get that update in real time — not a fun way to find out that the dream is over.

9. It’s OK to look through your friend’s friends for people you might want to meet/date/friend. However, it’s not OK to skip the middleman on the introduction. I get freaked out when anyone I don’t know tries to friend* me. I assume they’re trying to sell me something, stalking me or both. As always, be mindful of friend-poaching; it’s not cool.

8. Ask first before friending a close friend’s ex-squeeze. It’s common courtesy and it’s part of the Bro Code.

7. It’s OK to remain friends with someone you used to date on Facebook. We can be grown-ups about this. Just prepare yourself to see some status updates that you could probably do without.

6. Posting a ton of pictures, videos and comments regarding a recent, failed relationship is a bad idea. If you need a lifeline, phone a friend — don’t ask the audience.

5. As with all things, there is such thing as too much information. Airing grievances is best done over e-mail, the telephone and brunch. Likewise, starting a group about how “John Tucker must die,” while possibly cathartic, smacks of sour grapes. Starting a Facebook group called “I Hooked Up With Dane Cook And All I Got Was This Lousy Comedy CD” is, however, hilarious. Also, keep them photos safe for work.

4. Don’t friend an ex’s new squeeze if you’re not actually friends. This is sort of an addendum to two previous rules, but it bears its own space. It’s easy to not friend someone. In fact, it takes more energy to friend someone than to not friend them. Nothing good can come of this. It’s the social media equivalent of John Cusack watching through the eyes of John Malkovich’s daughter as Cameron Diaz and Catherine Keener kiss in the end of “Being John Malkovich.” No, life isn’t fair.

3. Know the difference between the Wall and a message. Facebook should devise a multiple-choice test for every new member. It will include questions like: The note “I luv u sooooo much baaaaaaaaby. I can’t waaaaaaait too seeee u 2nite” belongs in a) a private message; b) the Wall; or c) a coloring book. In addition, know when and whom to Poke, Super Poke, Gift and, if it exists, Super Gift.

2. Again, the Interweb is not a therapy session and shouldn’t be used with severely impaired judgment. For instance, there are only two occasions when it’s OK to tell someone that you had a huge crush on them in high school (if you must): a best-selling memoir or in a situation where you think this may get them to sleep with you … in the next 15 minutes. Definitely not on their Facebook Wall.

1. Do not create a fake page as a way to punish an ex. This comes above all other rules (and this actually is in the Facebook rules). Creating a page about your old flame and including “pooping in the bed,” “giving people crabs” and “stealing from people I date” as favorite pastimes may seem funny, but it’s petty and it’s a pretty good way to get sued for like $40,000 (see the case of Raphael, Grant).

Follow these 10 simple rules and people across the land will say, “Hey, that [insert your name] is pretty responsible with [insert your gender-specific possessive pronoun] use of Facebook in a relationships setting.”

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Do you feel young?  I feel like most people these days say they feel younger than their age.  With medicine today, and new knowledge of diet and it’s direct correlation to our health, many people look and feel much younger than they are.  But still, we all can feel the wear and tear that Father Time puts on our bodies.

All those small little injuries I had during high school sports are now haunting me as aching joints and muscles.  I still stay fit, but recovery time from injuries is longer, stretching is more necessary, and fatigue is more noticeable.

Unfortunately, it’s not just me.  My sister has had some medical concern arise, while my mother has been battling uncomfortable conditions for quite some time now.  My grandfather lost a battle to cancer, while my grandmother has had her fair share of concerns.  The list goes on as climb through the family tree.  There was a day, when none of this was the case.  But age…it does that to people.

I feel so nagging when I “preach” what I have learned in studying macrobiotics and health in general.  It is out of concern and love for my friends and family.  It being Christmas time and seeing all of my family, I am reminded of all of this.

It is only through reading that I have come to be enlightened about my health.  It is only through experience have I learned to use the knowledge.  See…I’m not crazy people.  There are many others out there like me.  Authors like Ray Kursweil, Michio Kushi, George Osawa, and scores more have touched the lives of thousands…maybe even millions.  I’ve met people who have battled cancer and one strictly using methods they learned through macrobiotics or other natural medicinal practices.

The advancement of technology and of medicine, as well as the growth of our knowledge and understanding on how our bodies work, will continue to lengthen our time living, as well as improve the physical health we endure during that time.  It is not ludicrous to think that humans have the potential to live well beyond 100 years.  There once was a day not too long ago that 50 was considered a long long time to live.  Now it is expected that we see that day.  So imagine in the next 100 years what will happen.  What new discoveries of cures and treatments will come about?

So as Ray Kursweil puts it, “Live Long Enough…So You Can Live Forever.”

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I’m very selective with books that I read.  I select titles that will either educate me or enlighten me.  The Five People You Meet In Heaven is a book of great enlightenment.

I read the whole thing on my flight to Chicago.  I have always thought that there was something to say about a book that you can finish in one sitting.  I was excited to see my friends, so sleep was not an option.  Instead I decided to re-read this much talked about piece by Mitch Albom.  First let me get the negative out.  I thought the book was very creative and slightly moving.  I just don’t think that Mitch Albom did that great of a job writing it.  Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s a great columnist, but much of his descriptive language was so gaudy in painting pictures of the landscape and environment.  Sorta like a made for TV movie…ironic.

I will give ‘ole Mitch an “A” for effort.  I thought the idea behind the whole book was pretty creative, and slightly moving (as I mentioned before).  Now I will explain my “slightly moving.”  First my disclaimer:  I have been known to get a little choked up at certain emotional moments in a book or movie or whatever.  With that said, I can explain “slightly moving” this way…there were a couple of times throughout the book when I got choked up, but never really cried.  It was very anti-climatic.  Here I am, on my way to see some of my bestest friends, full of emotion, and Mitch doesn’t even get a tear out of me.

The five people I will meet in heaven…

1. My father in an isolated room where all there is to do is to talk.
2. A bum I met in Ann Arbor volunteering that ensured me never to give change to the homeless again. (They spend it on drugs and alcohol!!!)
3. This blues singer I saw in Boston who had the deepest voice of any human I ever heard. (He inspired me:  If he could sing for people’s enjoyment with that voice…so can I!!)
4. My first, and probably only, two girlfriends I’ve had to tell me how dumb I was for never getting married. (Of course they would be there together to both give me shit!!)
5. My 5th grade music class teacher who told me that some people just naturally don’t have good voices.

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So today, while driving with a friend.  We came to a corner where yet another bum walks in the intersection begging for money.  Today proved to be different.

This bum had a sign that read “Free Poetry”.  He hands me a sheet with a poem on it because he can see that I am intrigued with his sign.  After reading the poem, I give him a dollar and some change.  Now typically I don’t give change to bums, due to an experiences with the homeless that I had when I was in college and volunteered at a free, chemical-free rehab house that mostly homeless went to.  There, a bum told me that usually he spends his money only on enough food to survive, then buys booze or drugs at the nearest homeless shelter with the rest.

Here is his poem:

Good Old Days

These are the “good old days,” you know

You’ll long for later on.

Enjoy them while you can, for they

will mighty soon be gone.

Don’t spend time living in the past,

That’s wasted time, it seems.

You can’t recall the long gone days

Redreaming faded dreams.

You know that life is here and now,

This is the “shining hour.”

So spend the time just living life

With all that’s in your power.

If you can find some folks, downcast

Who need a helping hand,

Then help them find new ways to live

And do the things they’ve planned.

Don’t eat and drink your fill each day

While others starve and die,

You don’t know all the good you do

For others, “til” you try.

You also must take time you need

To polish up your soul,

Salvation’s coming soon enough.

Is your name on the roll?

Now I don’t know if he actually wrote this, or where he got it from, but it ties together my two entries for this evening nicely. 

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